Frustration

Today was supposed to be a painting day but I had to take my daughter to the doctor in the morning. I did get about 3 hours to paint. Half an hour before I had to run out the door I decided I hated what I did and scraped half of it off. I stopped myself on the top half because I liked the effect it was giving me. It's very textured. Now I have to wait until Friday to work on it again. It's good because my family has no clothes to wear and no food to eat. Tomorrow I can focus on more domestic activities. Maybe I will buy some good looking veggies to paint!

Passion

It seems to have become the hip thing to "follow your passion". But what does it mean? What does it look like? I've heard it described as something that you love doing, something that doesn't feel like work, something that flows out of you--that comes easily, is relaxing. Is painting my passion? I have been so confused about this. Painting doesn't feel like any of those things, but when confronted with the question "What is my passion?" it's the first thing (only thing) that comes to mind. Here's what I know...Painting feels like something I have to do. We have a love/hate relationship...I love paint, painting supplies, the smell, the creativity, the feel of the brush across the support, COLOR...BUT It's intense, it's hard work, endlessly frustrating, gnawing, yet infinitely satisfying. It is this pull from within. I can't turn my painting eyes off sometimes and I drive myself crazy! I'm forever thinking of a nice composition or mixing a color I see in my head. I see a nice palette in a few weeds growing along the road. (I can't turn the designer off either I always redesign menus, book jackets, I think eww wrong font, etc.) When I am not painting my creativity takes on other forms like painting my house, cooking, driving a different way home, doing a craft project with my kids, or designing a brochure. But, I feel like I really should be working at my painting. I know when I am painting I feel like I am doing something important and real. 

I'd post what I worked on today but it's not finished and I'm too vain!

The Lurker

My daughter Jen said,"Mom, you are a lurker," which sounds really creepy so I decided to come out of the closet and start blogging. So, here I am...no longer creepy lurker, but cool blogger.
I recently cleaned out Jen's room after she left for college and set it up as my studio. I felt mildly guilty about that, but my mom was helping me so it's her fault too. I put my 18 month old daughter in daycare three days a week (I felt really guilty about that) but only during the time my son is in school. I dug my painting stuff out from under the stairs in the basement and started painting on Monday. OK so it didn't go so well. (I will post my underpainting.) I have mostly worked in acrylic and watercolor but of course am determined to paint in oil. I thought I'd join the Daily Painters, or in my case the Thrice-weekly Painters. I added some color and now it looks like crap.
My son stayed home sick (yeah right) from school on Friday and decided he wanted to try his hand at oil painting. He knocked out three (8x10, and two 6x6) beautiful paintings. He's always been interested in art and is a very talented drawer. He started out drawing super heros and now he's into ball players. Once in a while he'll branch out (ha! no pun intended) and do a tree. But this time he did sunsets and they are really nice. I am so jealous! Oh to be able to be so free. To have no idea how to paint and to just sit down and push the paint around, freely dipping into whatever colors I had out. I have to loosen up!
Anyway, tomorrow is one of my painting days so I am going to scrap the one I started and start another.